How Social Media Messes with Your Self-Esteem
If you've ever scrolled through social media and thought everyone else was prettier, smarter, happier, or more successful than you, you're not alone. Even when you know filters and photo editors exist, seeing someone else's perfect life laid out in front of you can make you feel disappointed in yourself. But it doesn't have to be this way, and your confidence shouldn't suffer because of it. Here are 10 ways social media can make you feel unattractive, and 10 ways to feel empowered again.
1. Airbrushed Filters
No matter if you're on TikTok or Snapchat, built-in filters on the selfie camera can make it seem as if you need to airbrush all your blemishes away to be attractive. It doesn't help that these filters may also slim your jawline or make your eyes bigger, which may only make you more insecure about your features.
2. Unrealistic Influencers
When influencers pop up on your page, whether it's someone you follow or a creator you've never seen before, they often offer unrealistic glimpses into their life that can make you feel inadequate about your own. You might wonder why you can't wake up looking flawless or why your home doesn't look that clean and spacious, all of which can make you feel unattractive.
3. Ever-changing Beauty Standards
It's bad enough that most beauty standards seem impossible to achieve, but when they're also constantly changing, it can put more pressure on you to conform to those expectations. If you don't look like the ideal, it can significantly affect the way you view yourself and your worth.
4. Constantly Shifting Trends
It's not just beauty standards that are constantly shifting, though. From the clothes we wear to the accessories we buy, fashion and other ideals also play a big role in how we're perceived by the people around us. If we don't follow these trends, or follow outdated ones, we might get strange looks that make us feel self-conscious about our choices.
5. Comparison Trap
You likely saw this one coming. The number one way that social media makes us feel unattractive is by how it pushes us to compare ourselves to others. Every time we see a new post or reel that shows us a seemingly flawless influencer living a seemingly perfect life, we wonder about how different we are from them, and how great it would be if we were living a similar lavish life.
6. Harsh Comment Sections
Maybe it's a comment section on a video of a creator who you bear a striking resemblance to, or maybe it's the comments under your own video, but every time you see harsh words spouted by an anonymous face, it can immediately dampen your mood. Not only do these hurtful words make you feel unattractive, but they also make you feel worthless.
7. Low Engagement
Low engagement on your posts can also make you feel like you're not "good enough." It can be extremely demotivating when your photos and videos barely get any likes and comments, but someone else with a pretty face can do the bare minimum and get lots of attention.
8. Highly Edited Photos
Even if you know that most photos you see online are heavily edited, or that most models and influencers don't actually look like how they do naturally, it still doesn't make you feel better about yourself. In fact, it may only make you feel like you need to try harder to "fix" your flaws, so you can achieve that perfect ideal, too.
9. FOMO
The things you see online can cause extreme FOMO, or fear of missing out. You might come across photo collections or videos of people exploring breathtaking destinations, living in a jaw-dropping mansion, or attending a glamorous wedding. No matter what it is, you feel sad that you're not a part of the celebration.
10. Glamorous Highlight Reels
But it's not just FOMO we get when we see these highlight reels of people's lives—it's a sense of dissatisfaction with our own life, too. Sure, people often show what they want others to see (and we do the same), but you can't help but feel inadequate whenever you see your friends always out doing something new while you're at home curled up in bed.
How, then, can you stop feeling this way and reclaim your confidence? The next time scrolling on social media makes you feel FOMO or bad about yourself, remember these 10 tips:
1. Limit Screen Time
Is social media damaging the way you view yourself? It may be time to step away from it completely. Limiting your screen time and engaging in other hobbies or activities will help you better ground yourself in your present life, instead of putting all your energy and focus on people you don't even know.
2. Curate Your Feed
If you can't give up your phone entirely, try curating your social media feeds instead. This means unfollowing any influencers or creators who are making you feel "unworthy" or "not good enough" because of their posts. In turn, try following creators who create posts that motivate you and allow you to love yourself the way you are.
3. Remind Yourself That Most of Social Media Isn't Real
Even if you already know it, it's worth repeating: most of social media isn't real. The influencers and models you see online likely edit their photos and videos, or have undergone beauty procedures to enhance their features. The lives they live can seem glamorous, but remember, things aren't always as they seem, and who says your life isn't as wonderful or glamorous?
4. Be Proud of What Your Body Can Do
If you're ever insecure about the way your body looks in comparison to the people you see online, stop that thought immediately. Instead of putting yourself down, be proud of what your body can do. Think of what it's capable of, how strong it is, and how unique.
5. Try to Show Your Unedited Life
Instead of using social media like everyone else and only posting glamorous shots of your life, such as only when you're on vacation, try showing your unedited life. Catching up on your favorite Netflix show with popcorn and a mug of hot cocoa is a fantastic way to spend a lazy weekend at home. Who knows? Maybe others will be envious of you!
6. Stay More Present Offline, Not Online
Just as you should limit your screen time, you should strive to stay more present offline than online. Meet up with your friends regularly or catch up with your family. The more time you spend living your life (instead of wishing that your life looked a certain way), the happier you'll actually feel.
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
7. Remember That There Is Beauty in Our Differences
Even if you don't fit the ideal standard, who cares? You're unique in your own way, and that makes you invaluable, a rare gem. Remember: there's beauty in our differences, and we should celebrate that, not strive to conform to the same image.
8. Take Candid Photos
Just as you should share more unedited snapshots of your life, you should also strive to take more candid photos. Don't force your smile or your body into a position it isn't comfortable in—just be unapologetically yourself. You'll find that you're much more beautiful when you're laughing naturally than when you're acting for the camera.
9. Celebrate Small Wins
Whenever you achieve something, no matter how big or small, celebrate it. Reward yourself with something. You deserve all the praise you can get. Don't minimize your hard work or accomplishments just because you think they're not as "worthwhile" or important as someone else's. You're worth the celebration.
10. You Are Beautiful
Remember: you are beautiful. Even when social media makes you feel like you aren't, or you feel you have to change parts of yourself because you don't "fit" the standard, you are more beautiful than words can describe. Don't let strangers online tear your confidence down. You are more than good enough.
