When Art Meets Fabric—and Then Regrets It
Runway fashion is supposed to be spectacle: a dreamscape stitched together in silk, latex, or, occasionally, feathers that shouldn’t belong anywhere near a human body. It’s performance art, rather than a manual for how we should dress. But somehow, every few seasons, someone mistakes the satire for sincerity. The next thing you know, people are buying shoes shaped like hooves and calling it avant-garde. There’s a difference between creative and misguided, and oftentimes the line between the two blurs. Here are twenty fashion trends that should have never left the runway.
Jose Luis Espindola on Unsplash
1. Plastic Everything
Somewhere around 2018, fashion decided plastic wasn’t just for shower curtains. Out of this trend emerged transparent boots that fogged up like mini greenhouses and PVC skirts that squeaked when you sat down. For a time, fashionistas wore branded garbage bags and called it futuristic.
2. The Giant Shoulder Revival
We get it. It’s called power dressing and evokes eighties nostalgia. That said, no one has shoulders that wide unless they’re in a football huddle. Walking through doorways became a test of spatial awareness. There’s a fine line between corporate confidence and human trapezoid.
3. Low-Rise Jeans
When this trend exploded off the runway, mid-2000s pop stars strutted around with zippers the length of a paperclip and no pockets to boot. The rest of us quickly followed. When we sat down in a pair of these, we had to quietly adjust the back of our shirts so we weren’t exposing ourselves.
4. Tiny Sunglasses
These tiny shades that only covered 10% of our eyes weren’t sunglasses; they were microshields for people allergic to shade. Sure, they looked edgy in editorial spreads, but on the street it was like trying to stop the sun with optimism.
5. Crocs with Heels
There are hybrids that work—mules, for instance. However, Crocs with stilettos is not one of them. A shoe built for gardening should never stand six inches tall. Yet Balenciaga insisted, and the result looked like something Barbie might wear during a midlife crisis.
6. Extreme Cutouts
The strategic cutout trend quickly stopped being strategic when they started cutting off more than they left behind. We were left with dresses missing half a side and tops with only a single sleeve. You’d see them and wonder: how do you even put that on? Fashion shouldn’t require adhesive tape to keep your clothes from falling to pieces.
7. Feathered Everything
Runway feathers flutter beautifully under lights, but in real life, they molt after a few hours. A night out turns into a trail of bird-like evidence on chairs, in drinks, and left clinging to your lip gloss. Unless you’re auditioning for Swan Lake, leave the plumage backstage.
8. Inflatable Clothing
The avant-garde took volume too literally and we ended up with inflatable dresses that required air pumps and jackets that doubled as flotation devices. There’s experimental, and then there’s dressing like emergency equipment.
we-make-money-not-art on Wikimedia
9. Double Denim Jumpsuits
Ah yes, the denim-on-denim apocalypse. This stylistic rendering is somehow both restrictive and shapeless. We could tolerate jean jackets over jean pants, but full-body denim armor was a cry for help.
10. Clear Heels
They promised barely-there elegance but delivered foot condensation. Every step fogged up like a biology experiment exploring the origin of life. Plus, they squeaked. If Cinderella’s glass slipper had sounded like that, Prince Charming wouldn’t have looked twice.
11. Cage Skirts
These were literal metal frames worn as skirts that made sitting impossible and dancing a hazard. It was the kind of outfit that tried to make a statement but failed to specify what that statement was. Industrial Revolution chic? Who knows.
12. Oversized Everything
There’s cozy, and then there’s drowning in fabric. When coats became so large they looked like wearable sleeping bags, we hit peak absurdity. Maybe it was a metaphor for comfort in chaos, or maybe people just stopped tailoring. Either way, it swallowed us whole.
13. Neon Fur Coats
A lime-green faux fur coat makes sense on the runway, where lighting and absurdity reign. However, in daylight it looks radioactive. We all thought we’d look like Rihanna, and instead we looked like a character off the Muppets.
14. Sock Sneakers
At first, these seemed innovative and spread like wildfire. All of a sudden there were stretchy, shapeless blobs clinging to ankles like wet sponges. They felt like pajamas but looked like someone forgot to finish the shoe. In our opinion, this is minimalism gone too far.
15. Micro Purses
Jacquemus started it, and everyone else lost their minds and took to carrying purses so small they couldn’t hold a key, let alone a phone. People defended the aesthetic, but they looked foolish. How can you not while carrying nothing and pretending it’s fashion?
16. Half-Pants, Half-Skirts
Was it a pant or a skirt? Both, apparently. This was the hybrid no one asked for. On the runway, it looked conceptual, but on the street, it looked like an outfit having an identity crisis. Sometimes indecision isn’t art; it’s just confusion.
17. Fanny Packs Worn as Bandoliers
Crossbody fanny packs were supposed to be utilitarian, but somehow, they became insignias of faux-urban cool. Every influencer had one, usually neon, always unnecessary. They were like chest armor for people whose biggest battle in life was finding a good Wi-Fi connection.
18. Distressed Everything
A little fray is fine, and a tear is somewhat tolerable. But shredded-to-oblivion sweaters and jeans that looked mauled by raccoons? No thanks. Paying $400 to look like you got caught inside your laundry machine was a collective low point.
19. Latex Pants
These may look great in photos but they’re terribly restrictive. Latex doesn’t breathe, and getting into them required talcum powder and persistence. Getting out of them required divine intervention. And yet we all tried, because fashion magazines told us sweat was chic.
20. “No Pants” Outfits
The concept of blazers as dresses still lingers in our consciousness. Runway models pulled it off because they walk 200 feet under spotlight magic. The rest of us were left contending with drafty thighs and unsolicited stares at the grocery store. There’s confidence, and then there’s exhibitionism.
